There is no straight story from the moment we are born. There are no signs, except for that of the “EXIT” sign, in our mothers’ womb. There is no landing strip, but there are two hands that will carry you , warm you, and then leave you. I have yet to meet anyone who has a recollection of this moment, and I know that if I do, I will not trust him or her.
We need to realize that there really is no point in overstating our direction, to ourselves, or to anyone else. If we choose to listen close enough, we will realize that life writes itself out as its own stream of consciousness.
Will you share this journey with me? I don’t know where or when it began, nor do I know where it will go, but this story belongs to everyone. Have you ever wanted to adopt someone else’s life? Have you ever been so confused that you couldn’t even fathom what your life looked like to the world? Does it even matter? It must because we are constantly trying to identify with other things, and hence trying to give ourselves an identity. What is the population on this planet? As of this second it is 6,859,926,848… I can’t even type fast enough to keep up with the count. What a way to feel small. This is approximately the number of ants it would take to make up your physical weight, and it seems like a lot, but if you were in an ant’s world, you’d be very little. The same goes for human life.
(Photo by CYER, 1998)
I: REOCCURRING DREAMS
Your thoughts led me to the cross on top of the mountain, but I only made it as far as the Oratory on Queen-Mary. It was the closest I could get to God. I was not ready to accept the challenge, although all of the looks I was getting from those I would pass were encouraging and despairing at the same time. I sat on the steps, the stairway to heaven, pondering why I had been chosen as God’s child. His only Son living in the form of a Woman- a little girl really, too naive to know her role in this place; this hell on Earth. The chosen one who was to make this reality Heaven. Baby Jesus. I did not succeed. Instead, I was taken to a separate ward in Hell- a room on fire that was full of thespians I had never seen on stage or screen.
It was then all ideas of God went out the window, only to be replaced by the idea that there was another higher life form… perhaps an extraterrestrial one? Just as I had ignored God, there was one point in my life when I denied the existence of other life forms. Only to be shown now, that they were the ones in control. Humans were not just humans.