circa 2005

Prevention Of Early Psychosis Prevention (PEPP) : ‘Putting The Puzzle Pieces Together’

My FIRST experience with meeting the psychiatrist assigned to me; he just wanted to shoot the shit and talk about himself, his career achievements, his life… conversational familiarity? Nothing about mental illness and what we are trying to achieve here. Like, hmm, maybe you can talk about things?

  1. A) What would I talk about anyway?
  2. B) I am not familiar with talking about “problems” or “issues” that could be beneficial, yet alone “regular” shoot the shit personal conversation with a professional psychiatrist.
  3. C) Why am I here?
  4. D) All Of The Above: Why is there so much judgement based on my Asian ethnicity?

[He created my prejudice against him because of his South-West Asian ethnicity of Ego-flexing – a common stereotype of systemic racism, as he created a stereotypical version of an Asian female brought up from assumed place of privilege]



[Common thread in psychosis]

Did you think you were Jesus?” – nurse
No(Yes)”- me

Psychiatric Ward:

[What does the scale mean to you, as it pertains to what it means to me?]

Dr: “On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel ?
Me:” What do you mean?

Out of Ward:

[Common thread with mental illness is ceasing to take medication]

Back ‘n’ Ward:
[Give all the medication needed to cease the ideations.]


[Judgement from nurse: Why did you stop taking your medication? This is not a joke]

Assigned Nurse visits: “They have given you too much Risperidol, it exceeds any amount within the limited range.”

Me: How does medication ‘solve’ my problems?

– continued to play with medication for years to come [Common thread from Mentally Ill patients- What is it good for? You feel better momentarily, so you start to believe you no longer need the medication or there are other alternatives – diet, supplements, exercise]


[Common thread, mental illness only impacts low income people – Asians can have mental illness too]

Doctor: “You know University graduates have mental illness too
Me: [Uh, I never said otherwise, why the hell you bringing  that up?]


Doctor: “We are holding our annual charity event for Mental Health Care, can your parents by tickets to the fundraiser?
Me:”Oh,they probably wouldn’t be interested in attending
Doctor:”Why? It’s for a good cause. They can meet other people in the field and impacted by mental illness. It’s only $100


Doctor appears at my parents business

I see him and walk out, ignoring him

[He was never a previous customer]


Doctor: “Why do your parents not accept credit cards? BC they’re [cheap], it costs money?
Doctor:”I only go to your parents dry cleaners because they are the best in the business, I wasn’t checking on you

[Bing et Wife @ L’Acadie Cleaners, 2013] – last formal place of employment, full circle.



Me:”I’m taking a trip to MTL. Can I get my prescription?


Nurse:”There’s been an adjustment, take x amount of this, x amount of that


Me:”Shit my vision is getting really blurry
Me:”I better cut my trip short, bc I’m also out of money


Me:”I took the medication like this and was getting side effects
Nurse:”No your prescription says this, you took the opposite amounts of what I told you to take
Me:”No, you told me this
Nurse:”No I did not, it says right here on the prescription
Me:”Yes, you did
Nurse:”No I didn’t. Why would I tell you otherwise?

[Humans make mistakes. You listen to what you heard and trust it at times, instead of double checking your own prescription guidelines]

Me:”I came back also because I was broke” [Colloquial Speech]
Doctor:”You aren’t ‘broke’. You have money don’t you??? That does not mean you are broke, other people are broke.



Doctor:”Would you like to get an injection of Risperidol? It will be free and you won’t have to pay for your medication
Me:”No thanks

Next Visit…

Doctor:”You should try this injection, it’s for a trial of Risperidol
Me: “No thanks

Next Next Visit….

Doctor: “Are you scared of needles?
Me: “No
Doctor: “Why won’t you try this injection? What are you scared of?
Me: “Uhm, I just don’t want to try trial injection of medication not approved
Doctor:”Are you scared of needles?
Me: [OMG STOP!!!!]

Years Later: Advertisment of Class Action Suit against Risperidol Injections

[2003]Pictures2 019

[too be cont’d…]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s